Well we all know: "love suffers long and is kind, love doesn't envy or vaunt, is not puffed up, does not behave unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easliy provoked, it thinks no evil - love never fails, let everything be done in love." - Maybe that's just like the goal for humanity, something we should all strive for but we won't all attain. Are some people naturally more capable of giving more than others so THEY might run the risk of giving too much and thus hurting themselves in the long run? Is being overly selfless selfish in a way, does it deny someone else the privilege of knowing the true satisfaction found in giving? Hmmmm.
I guess I just don't see a balance really. I don't know how to ask for what I need because I don't know WHAT I need, as I don't really think I need much. I feel like I have so much already, ok so maybe not sooooo much materially (NOTE: cool gifts are always welcome :D) but 'spiritually' or shall we say immaterially I don't lack for much. I am a fairly happy and optimistic individual, I was never emotionally traumatised, I had a healthy upbringing, I don't feel alone in the world, isolated, I don't carry heavy bitternesses, or memories that plague me, I am personable, friendly, generally liked, my company enjoyed, I don't suffer from any serious phobias, worries, battle depression, insomnia or any other mental disorders (I know some might interject here... hee hee) I feel lucky, but I know that not everyone is. The world can be cruel to people and leave awful scars that time may or may not heal. It's not their fault and shouldn't be treated as such. People who endured emotional abuse, exclusion, were teased, ridiculed and made to feel worthless as children will probably grow up somewhat insecure, shy, introverted, lack confidence, skeptical of others motives, maybe hopeless etc etc. And then I think that many people NEEDLESSLY suffer due to mans selfishness or maybe just a fear we have of imposing ourselves on others. Sometimes it's those things that we take for granted that mean the world to others.
I see it as our duty to humanity to inspire happiness, brotherhood, harmony, love, encourage each other etc. and if that means losing out a little personally, hurting a little because that's what it means to give sometimes, isn't it still worth it? Even if it just makes a difference to one person, gives them the edge they need to change their own life in some way (and I didn't say try and change their life for them, that's a personal decision) what if all they needed was someone to believe in them, have faith in them or to truly care about them? What if it was just one phrase or just one word, the right word spoken at just the right time, one touch, one smile that struck a chord in them and gave them just a bit more dermination, a little more of the upper hand at succeeding at their goals or just accepting themselves for who they are? It may seem unlikely to make any difference, but what if does? I may not be getting anything out of it directly, but I am gonna love seeing them happy. We can't always know the effect we have on others, but what if we just tried anyway?
I am reminded of a comment on Luchi's blog by her mom and then this "There’s that song by U2 “if God would send his angels”… We should hope to be one, no matter where or who we are." If we don't... who will?
...No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee...
7 comments:
hi, madam M. Drop me a line some time... what's yer email?
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and you are?
An excellent post and something I’ve wondered often. Is it worth it to give your life in “service” to others? I guess it all boils down to, what do you consider “worth it”? How much can you hurt yourself before you consider it “hurt too much”? How far are you willing to go for others?
I certainly think one should ask themselves these questions BEFORE taking up a life of service, so as to not find yourself in an uncomfortable situation that you resent. (Of course, mentalities change over time, so maybe you’ll end up resentful anyway, but at least you can try.)
For example, some of our parents have decided to give their lives away in a fashion that won’t leave them anything for their old-age. There is no retirement plan. Some may consider that “too much”, but others –my mom for example- are prepared to spend their last days in a shelter for old people in some 3rd world country, croaking out the Message with their last whispering breaths. (A plan which I don’t particularly like.) They don’t consider that their kind of giving will ever be “too much”; they’re willing to face the consequences.
There are countless stories of people who died from a disease in their mission field and there are the volunteers in Iraq who were kidnapped by the very people they were trying to help. Maybe some of us would consider that “too much”, but maybe it was totally worth it to them. There are people who are prepared to hurt that bad in order to give what they want to give.
One thing, of course, is that you do have to take care of yourself in some sort of fashion, because otherwise you may not only become ineffective, but you may cause more damage than help.
I say, give whatever you want to give, just do it with your eyes wide open.
very good point Luch. I guess we all have different giving 'thresh holds' and shouldn't compare how much we give to someone else. It's just easier for some and not as easy for others and we have to figure out what our limits are.
I realise this post is a little all over the place and even a little contradictory to the original idea. I guess I am saying, give what you can, give what you have to give and know when you don't have anything more to give. But don't hold back either.
Kristina put a concept very wisely: "I think that there is balance if you find someone who gives you as much as you give them. It's giving to those who just take and take and take that is bad and destructive. Always aim for a higher goal but know when a battle has been lost and move on or don't give until you are drained, destroyed, used up and put out with the wash."
"The only thing that seperates any one of us from excellence is fear,
and the opposite of fear is faith. I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. excellence I can reach for; perfection is God's business."
From a Pisces who has been at times blindly devoted to loved ones, that post and the other comments was superb.
Oh btw that quote at the end of your post, where's it from?
We're all one and the same aren't we Raven? That was a famous quotation by John Donne 17th Century Poet/Writer.
True true Beuribek!
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