Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Absence

One by one the doors close. Tied knots and different journeys, welcome to your new lives. I've never wanted what most people want, and really, I'm okay with the drifting. I'm okay with having no plan, no obligations to anyone, but at the same time while nothing holds me down, I feel like one day I might just drift away from everyone and everything. If nothing contains me, perhaps I'll slowly disappear. Is this me that I am okay? Most people follow linear paths, why don't I? The haphazard path, the erratic route, the biggest challenge is knowing what comes next. Deep inside I know it's not that... what you now have, but sometimes I'm afraid that I'm poles apart from everyone else.

There it is. That familiar sensation of pain, but this time it's only ever so faint. The small sting of reality and the beautiful photos...  The part of me that mourns is the part of me that is normal.

And so it is...

The sadness doesn't envelope me the same way it used to, it just quietly sits and swells in my heart. So I  lean my face towards the sun, I close my eyes and remember.