if you want to know about me, well hey you should just ask me. And if not, well then you ain't missing out on nothing.
Friday, April 11, 2008
the time has come
for all good things to come to an end. in a sense, there are chapters in my life that are closed and others that are waiting to be opened. this particular blog needs to end but the tumultuous story will remain as a reminder. it will be something that I will be able to look back on in the years to come and think, "What a foolish, foolish child I was." ...mind you I was also pretty damn AWESOME! Dontchooferget!
if you want to know about me, well hey you should just ask me. And if not, well then you ain't missing out on nothing.
you are the ever living ghost of what once was...
if you want to know about me, well hey you should just ask me. And if not, well then you ain't missing out on nothing.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
a song for me and my lil soul
Watchin' a stretch of road, miles of light explode.
Driftin' off a thing i'd never done before
Watchin' a crowd roll in. out go the lights it begins.
A feelin' in my bones i never felt before.
People always told me. that bars are dark and lonely
And talk is often cheap and filled with air.
Sure sometimes they thrill me
But nothin' could ever chill me.
Like the way they make the time just disappear
Feelin' you are here again. hot on my skin again.
Feelin good a thing i'd never known before
What does it mean to feel?
Millions of dreams come real
A feelin' in my soul i'd never felt before.
And you always told me.
No matter how long it holds me if it falls apart
Or makes us millonaires. you'll be right here forever.
We'll go thru this thing together
And on heaven's golden shore we'll lay our heads
Driftin' off a thing i'd never done before
Watchin' a crowd roll in. out go the lights it begins.
A feelin' in my bones i never felt before.
People always told me. that bars are dark and lonely
And talk is often cheap and filled with air.
Sure sometimes they thrill me
But nothin' could ever chill me.
Like the way they make the time just disappear
Feelin' you are here again. hot on my skin again.
Feelin good a thing i'd never known before
What does it mean to feel?
Millions of dreams come real
A feelin' in my soul i'd never felt before.
And you always told me.
No matter how long it holds me if it falls apart
Or makes us millonaires. you'll be right here forever.
We'll go thru this thing together
And on heaven's golden shore we'll lay our heads
Monday, April 07, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Wouldn't it be interesting...
if hypnosis really worked? Hehe. I haven't researched it and even if I did, I really don't think I'd get around to it. Maybe I should though and make sure they ask me questions that I'm too scared to answer in a conscious state. I don't think I am 100% honest with myself and even when I try to (or at least I think I am)I still don't ever come to a solid consensus about what the meaning of my life is. For some reason, I don't really know how to do it though! Is this normal? I feel like I am blessed with tremendous ability (to do something), but cursed with infinite choices. Figuring out what I should do with my life in constantly on my mind.
I find safety in the past and I always seem to look to the past for my answers, for my security. The past is comforting because I went through it and I came out the other end. Of course it took me going through it coming out the other end okay to become my comfort, not the going through it part. Looking forward to the future is such a hard thing to do and I am boggled by all I want to do.
How does one slow down, focus and get there?
I find safety in the past and I always seem to look to the past for my answers, for my security. The past is comforting because I went through it and I came out the other end. Of course it took me going through it coming out the other end okay to become my comfort, not the going through it part. Looking forward to the future is such a hard thing to do and I am boggled by all I want to do.
How does one slow down, focus and get there?
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
What is life?
“It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.”
Monday, March 24, 2008
Scuury
Police helicopters are flying over head announcing that there is a wanted criminal in the area and to please be cautious! Man! I was just enjoying having all the doors and windows open on this beautiful day while I work on my homework and now I have to close them! Sigh, I suppose a small sacrifice for the sake of safety might be a legitimate.
C'mon Emma!!!
Back to the grind...
PS Can someone tell me why it's SO hard to start an essay?
C'mon Emma!!!
Back to the grind...
PS Can someone tell me why it's SO hard to start an essay?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
So I obviously don't really know how to use my camera. It's only by chance that any of the pics turn out since I'm like adjust, adjust, point, shoot.... "oh crap" delete, adjust adjust, point, shoot.... "aha! but what did I do??"
Luchi I need some pointers!!
Here and here are samples of pictures taken with my camera... so it can be done!!
Luchi I need some pointers!!
Here and here are samples of pictures taken with my camera... so it can be done!!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
HBD
2 u.
Although u don't really deserve my remembering since you clearly forgot mine, I did. Probably only because part of your birth date happens to be something to do with a password I have for something... or something. So don't feel tooo lucky. :P
San Francisco. Yesterday pops and I took BART (the metro system out here) into downtown and trekked around for most of the day. Although I don't usually do the "touristy" thing, I much prefer finding the gems that are somewhere off the beaten path, it was fun to do this time! I got some halfway decent shots which I will post later on.
It's a beautiful day today. No need to miss out on it!
Smile and everything around you will be beautiful!
xoxo
Although u don't really deserve my remembering since you clearly forgot mine, I did. Probably only because part of your birth date happens to be something to do with a password I have for something... or something. So don't feel tooo lucky. :P
San Francisco. Yesterday pops and I took BART (the metro system out here) into downtown and trekked around for most of the day. Although I don't usually do the "touristy" thing, I much prefer finding the gems that are somewhere off the beaten path, it was fun to do this time! I got some halfway decent shots which I will post later on.
It's a beautiful day today. No need to miss out on it!
Smile and everything around you will be beautiful!
xoxo
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Hello :)
The ups and downs have felt like a roller coaster lately. I almost want to keep everything I think to myself, because I can't ensure my feelings won't change. As perplexed as I can become, I have gotten good at looking at the bright side and sometimes I just need to remind myself (or be reminded) that the world is a lot bigger and more beautiful than my petty problems. In saying this I am not discounting my right to feel what I feel, but in having felt the internal metamorphosis taking place when I put on a smiling face or think positively despite how I feel, there is no need to immerse myself in all my fears and worries.
Next week is going to be great! My dad is flying into San Francisco for a visit. It has been a few years now since we last saw him, the last time being around the time I arrived in Denver way back when. Wow, time has flown! I can't believe that it has been almost 3 years! A little scary actually. Anyway, Monday evening I will be taking the train out there to spend the week. I just loooove taking the train when ever I can. It's a little pricey, $15 or so each way, but the views and scenery on the route are spectacular and impossible to enjoy in the same way traveling by car. I am needing a change of scenery and some great company for a few days. The past few months I have just been working and studying seemingly without end and now I am feeling effects of solitariness: quite depressing! I need my fix of cuteness that is Altea!!! Don't kids make the world a happier place? Especially adorable ones like her! I swear, I could sit around ALL day and just watch her do her thing and I would be set for life. I don't need anything else in my life. Haha.
Oh my time is up. back to the grind! I will leave you with a silly video clip from our last visit to Mike and Kristina's. Love and miss you all! xoxoxox
not working right now! I will load it later...
Next week is going to be great! My dad is flying into San Francisco for a visit. It has been a few years now since we last saw him, the last time being around the time I arrived in Denver way back when. Wow, time has flown! I can't believe that it has been almost 3 years! A little scary actually. Anyway, Monday evening I will be taking the train out there to spend the week. I just loooove taking the train when ever I can. It's a little pricey, $15 or so each way, but the views and scenery on the route are spectacular and impossible to enjoy in the same way traveling by car. I am needing a change of scenery and some great company for a few days. The past few months I have just been working and studying seemingly without end and now I am feeling effects of solitariness: quite depressing! I need my fix of cuteness that is Altea!!! Don't kids make the world a happier place? Especially adorable ones like her! I swear, I could sit around ALL day and just watch her do her thing and I would be set for life. I don't need anything else in my life. Haha.
Oh my time is up. back to the grind! I will leave you with a silly video clip from our last visit to Mike and Kristina's. Love and miss you all! xoxoxox
not working right now! I will load it later...
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Slow Dance
Slow Dance
Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Do you run through each day
on the fly
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
-- David L Weatherford
Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Do you run through each day
on the fly
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
-- David L Weatherford
Thursday, February 21, 2008
5 stages
Denial - then Anger - then Bargaining - now Depression - now ................................... Acceptance - when?
I think that's what it is... it's complicated. Thanks for listening Luchi, I feel TONS better... even if some mud had to be thrown, the cause is worthy!! :P I am thankful that you are one person who I can talk to about certain things and you understand. Guess I am lucky that I have a few people like that - I assign you each a topic of my distress and train you how to answer so I feel better. :P
Thanks for not giving up on me people!! xoxoxoxox
I think that's what it is... it's complicated. Thanks for listening Luchi, I feel TONS better... even if some mud had to be thrown, the cause is worthy!! :P I am thankful that you are one person who I can talk to about certain things and you understand. Guess I am lucky that I have a few people like that - I assign you each a topic of my distress and train you how to answer so I feel better. :P
Thanks for not giving up on me people!! xoxoxoxox
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Presidents day = almost everyone gets the day off
But not me! It is in fact on of the days where I work more than ever! But hey, that's okay - moneys = rent = comfy-cozy = good. When you are working in retail, holidaiz mean the masses will be out spending their mulla like it's going out of style. Yeah don't be outside enjoying the weather, go for a bike ride stupid people! My job makes me hate Americans more than I should.
But at the same time I can have fun at work. I just have to pretend I am not really at a job. Maybe just out and about meeting random people are striking up conversations. It's easy for me to live in my imagination, I'm a Pisces! :) You'd think I was actually happy about this fact the amount I talk about it. Alas, I am hoping for pity. In doing my horoscope yesterday, after Kristina suggested I look on my birth certificate for my time of birth instead of relying on my mother's "somewhere around 2, 2:30, or 3:30. Somewhere around there.", I now know I am:
Sun Pisces
Moon Pisces
Mercury Aquarius
Venus Pisces
Mars Pisces
Jupiter Libra
Saturn Libra
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra
True Node Leo
Ascendant Cancer ----- it was thought I might have a Leo rising, but no. More water!
You ask what this means? I present Miss Undecided waterfall on legs! That's what! ... ohhh what tangent am I on? Hehe. I'm all over the place tonight. It's far to late at night for my brain to have the ability to write a well thought out thesis, build and conclusion. I do that all week long with homework!! I will close with something easy... on the eyes and my brain... photiiiii!! :)
With all the take off an additional 40% + $10 + 25% more + coupons + a bag of cookies sales going on, we succumbed and partook of the great indulgence. Brandt needed a suit for some up and coming work stuffs so we got him kitted out. We saved about 70% so HEY, I guess we did alright!
fweeet fweooo (that's the sexy whistle thang peeps do, i can't spell.)
But at the same time I can have fun at work. I just have to pretend I am not really at a job. Maybe just out and about meeting random people are striking up conversations. It's easy for me to live in my imagination, I'm a Pisces! :) You'd think I was actually happy about this fact the amount I talk about it. Alas, I am hoping for pity. In doing my horoscope yesterday, after Kristina suggested I look on my birth certificate for my time of birth instead of relying on my mother's "somewhere around 2, 2:30, or 3:30. Somewhere around there.", I now know I am:
Sun Pisces
Moon Pisces
Mercury Aquarius
Venus Pisces
Mars Pisces
Jupiter Libra
Saturn Libra
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Sagittarius
Pluto Libra
True Node Leo
Ascendant Cancer ----- it was thought I might have a Leo rising, but no. More water!
You ask what this means? I present Miss Undecided waterfall on legs! That's what! ... ohhh what tangent am I on? Hehe. I'm all over the place tonight. It's far to late at night for my brain to have the ability to write a well thought out thesis, build and conclusion. I do that all week long with homework!! I will close with something easy... on the eyes and my brain... photiiiii!! :)
With all the take off an additional 40% + $10 + 25% more + coupons + a bag of cookies sales going on, we succumbed and partook of the great indulgence. Brandt needed a suit for some up and coming work stuffs so we got him kitted out. We saved about 70% so HEY, I guess we did alright!
fweeet fweooo (that's the sexy whistle thang peeps do, i can't spell.)
Saturday, February 16, 2008
OMG!!11!!!1!!!!!!
SHE'S PREGNANT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go give her your congrats! YAY FOR MORE CUTE BABIES!!!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Quite possibly
the best Radiohead Album YET! "In Rainbows" you MUST take a listen. It perfectly captures my senses.
These videos leave much to be desired visually, but just listen. It's a perfect wet-and-cold-winter album that will translate your gloom into a melodic inner warmth.
These videos leave much to be desired visually, but just listen. It's a perfect wet-and-cold-winter album that will translate your gloom into a melodic inner warmth.
Where are all the bloggers gone to?
Do you ever miss the little blogging world that was so active a few years ago? I do. It's just not the same like it was somehow even when people do blog. What do you think happened? Well my mom's COOL and has a blog! ;) CHCK IT! Actually most of my favourite ladies are MOMs. Gasp! Luchi, Xtina, Christina, (oh and Luchi's mom - she writes best comments) What does this tell me? But wait, you were cool before you had babies, so don't try and try and make me admit that being a mom makes you cooler. :P
So did you know yesterday was Valentines Day? I swear I almost missed it ;) The interesting thing about having an American boyfriend is that he has all the holidays and celebrations preprogrammed. Even if you'd prefer not to recognize a particular holiday, there's just no way round it. How can one make the transition from February 13th to February 15th without buying flowers or buying anything at all!? But I digress, he got me some roses and I was most touched... even if consumer pressure from society and possibly trauma from previous relationships influenced him more than love, he still made an effort to surprise me cuz that's just how he rolls:)
A funny story actually, at least I thought so, he bought the roses and freaked a little about what to do with them till I got home as we have no vase! (Hey we're young! Only moms and grandmas have vases!) So, he tells me later, his first thought was to try and shove them into the 4L water bottle, tie a ribbon around it and hope that would do the trick. Haha! Well, sadly he decided against that, as I would have loved to see and instead just set them on the kitchen counter with a card and there I found them, slightly wilted and turning brown. But awwwww =)
Here's us this time last year in Maui! <3
So did you know yesterday was Valentines Day? I swear I almost missed it ;) The interesting thing about having an American boyfriend is that he has all the holidays and celebrations preprogrammed. Even if you'd prefer not to recognize a particular holiday, there's just no way round it. How can one make the transition from February 13th to February 15th without buying flowers or buying anything at all!? But I digress, he got me some roses and I was most touched... even if consumer pressure from society and possibly trauma from previous relationships influenced him more than love, he still made an effort to surprise me cuz that's just how he rolls:)
A funny story actually, at least I thought so, he bought the roses and freaked a little about what to do with them till I got home as we have no vase! (Hey we're young! Only moms and grandmas have vases!) So, he tells me later, his first thought was to try and shove them into the 4L water bottle, tie a ribbon around it and hope that would do the trick. Haha! Well, sadly he decided against that, as I would have loved to see and instead just set them on the kitchen counter with a card and there I found them, slightly wilted and turning brown. But awwwww =)
Here's us this time last year in Maui! <3
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
in my world
slackers would be given just as much for their lack of efforts as their over achieving counterparts, because that's just fair!! heehee. Just kidding, I'm no commie I swear!! :P
I'm lazy and I admit that I hate applying my mind. I feel like I don't even think the right way for a lot of what I will be studying anyway. I'm more of a fairytale loving, unrealistic, random and ideally an out of touch with reality kind of person - which is hard to translate into anything logical. =) It's hard for me to have to force my mind into behaving in a very specific way and then repeating the method over and over. Tough stuff for a vivacious mind!! But I need the discipline and to come to terms with the fact that some things are just always going to be plain hard and I should get used to that.
oh look at the time... Happy Valentines Day!!
Nighty night
I'm lazy and I admit that I hate applying my mind. I feel like I don't even think the right way for a lot of what I will be studying anyway. I'm more of a fairytale loving, unrealistic, random and ideally an out of touch with reality kind of person - which is hard to translate into anything logical. =) It's hard for me to have to force my mind into behaving in a very specific way and then repeating the method over and over. Tough stuff for a vivacious mind!! But I need the discipline and to come to terms with the fact that some things are just always going to be plain hard and I should get used to that.
oh look at the time... Happy Valentines Day!!
Nighty night
Ah tis spring, or so it feels like
After having just gone through a depressingly wet winter, I have decided I would never survive (quite literally) in any such place where the sun fails to shine... a lot. Which kinda sucks because those are definitely some of the coolest places (think Seattle, London, San Francisco, anywhere in Northern Europe, Canada, Alaska, Iceland, probably Argentina and quite possibly anywhere outside of California.
Tsktsk I know, what an exaggerater I am. I'm just being a whiner cuz I don't get to gallivant around the world at the moment so I have to make myself feel better about staying put. I'm learning a few lessons in procrastinating dramatic change, because SOMETIMES you learn a lot from following through on something you set to do and following it through to completion. I get bored easily................
!!!LNF!!!
I just finished skyping my dad and found out that he is hoping we might be able to move up to Seattle to live at the house with my little sister!! My dad and step-mom will be living in France and little sis is in Beauty School, prefers to stay put and finish up her studies. So I guess I take back everything I said!! Haha yaya!
PICS
Tsktsk I know, what an exaggerater I am. I'm just being a whiner cuz I don't get to gallivant around the world at the moment so I have to make myself feel better about staying put. I'm learning a few lessons in procrastinating dramatic change, because SOMETIMES you learn a lot from following through on something you set to do and following it through to completion. I get bored easily................
!!!LNF!!!
I just finished skyping my dad and found out that he is hoping we might be able to move up to Seattle to live at the house with my little sister!! My dad and step-mom will be living in France and little sis is in Beauty School, prefers to stay put and finish up her studies. So I guess I take back everything I said!! Haha yaya!
PICS
Friday, February 08, 2008
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