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hi hi hi hi hi!

being instant in season and out of season doesn't exactly apply to blogging. amazing how life can go from blogworthiness excitement to utter boredom and monotony - all the while you've been living "ground hogs day", how does your brain decide that suddenly everything's dull? That's not a serious question, I mean fine we can do a poll on it if you waaaant.

I guess a bit of news never hurt anyone.

I've been hurting my knees lately doing Tae Bo! Too much of the concentrated weight on one leg I am supposing. So I have switched over to jogging! So far I am doing just 2.5miles in around 35min. I know, pretty pathetic, but I do try. We live in a nice neighbourhood so it's safe enough to go out in the cool of the evening, gets me away from the madness and insanity!

Oh that reminds me, we might be shipping the "madness and insanity" (aka my family) off to their next mission field sooner than later! If they stay too much longer I can just foresee debt and further solidifying of the mud they seem to be slowly sinking into. So, Andrew and I are devising a scheme to get mom and the kids out and then Eman can hopefully stay and fundraise. Disappointing that they never seem to be elligible for the "windows of heaven" downpour and always need to be bailed out. Oh well, why else do you need your own children?

So I guess that means I will be sticking around the US of A for a bit longer, I don't mind really... I'm not "worried for my soul" - life here generally doesn't appeal to me, I don't think I have enough "systemite" qualities in me to want to become hardcore. I guess more than anything I am not so afraid of living life as it comes! It was a refreshing realization that came to me the other day, you don't HAVE to be a certain way if you don't WANT to be. I know that sounds basic but for some reason I had this perpetual cloud over my head like, "ohhh if I am not THIS way then the only other thing I can be is THAT way! whatever shall I do!?" This led to a prison of guilt and I started to despise life and everyone who seemed so happy living theirs. What if I didn't fit either (as if there were only two options) mold? Where do I fit in?!?! Yes, it was sad really and I don't mind getting a few "awwwwwwwww" comments as that would just warm my poor troublesome heart :) However, rest easy. I wouldn't say I am completely figured out in the head and have some mega plan for my life and where I will be. Lets just say I am not so scared to live it! Where will it be? Mexico? South America? Alaska? Saskatchewan? Europe? Only God knows but I think He'll let me in on His plan soon enough. So, Mexico, as much as I love you - I can't give you 100% guarantees that I'll be back to stay.

bitter-sweet... I hope that our friendships don't fade (they've always seemed to in the past) I suppose that's the risk that comes with "seeing the world", you do see it but you don't necessarily take a whole lot with you on the rest of your journey - except maybe just a few keepsakes - and goodbyes can very well be forever.

/hmmmmm