Flight departs August 31st Denver - Sacramento. With two bags, containing everything in the world I own; excited yet petrified. I am now beginning a journey. Destination: unknown. Nothing is set, nothing is clear, there are no signs that say, "Your life's path - this way." What am I doing?! I don't have a clue. But I must go, must do this, I dare not stop because my curiosity as to where this will take me has peaked and that... THAT makes me clinically insane. God save us all!
Here I am. Alive and kicking and having a righteous good time. I'm worried because I don't think life sucks, but everyone else does. Maybe I'm missing something? I always seem to end up having good times yet pretty much everyone complains about how much their lives suck. I can't actually say mine has ever. There's just so much to do and so much I haven't done that I never feel the opportunity to say 'life sucks'. As soon as it starts to go that route, I seem to turn it around. I don't think anything happens by accident, so it makes me hope that I might be doing something right.
Ok enough on that, I'll be disabling anonymous comments since I'll probably be getting google hits for using that word so much. Or I'll set up the pervert filters, either way.
I find it fascinating to look at the different sequences of events that happen in my life. Those that end up pulling me in such amazingly extreme ways to different parts of the world and into different lives entirely. And it continues to happen. Without fail there is always a person of significant importance to me in the picture who becomes like the wind in my sails. They don't drive me, coerce me or manipulate me they are just... there, which becomes where I want to be till the ship must sail yet again. Bittersweet, undoubtedly it will. It's not that I have string for a backbone or am so incredibly fickle that I end up changing directions simply because I am weak, life is just eager to have me experience it and throws itself at me like a desperate lover. The taste of delicacies not yet savoured captivate my senses.
I've stopped thinking that life is definitive. Things change so much, people change so much, X years from now we may not even recognise each other. Its open-ended, non-deterministic. Our life is what we make of it.
5 comments:
You sound so free. Girl, you inspire me. Hope things work out somehow for us to see eachother sometime somewhere somehow, and I definitely hope we recognize eachother after X amount of years.
Oh honey, life doesn't suck at all! We are just bored of this town we call home. Same people, same hotspots, same everything. Our little group of friends have had there fun here and are all looking to sail away with the wind as you are. The only difference is that the wind is bringing you here and a different wind is taking all of us away.
Good luck with your journeys, you know that I'll be here for you!
I must be a little bit of retarded. I can never enter those letters correctly.
Hope at least from time to time your path comes across a cybercafe or some other place where you can post something. Either way, hope you find whatever it is you are looking for. Draw a good destiny to yourself and be happy.
I'm freeeeee!! Although, I've always been free! Anyway, thanks you guys for your well wishes... I have TWO people left in the world!!! woooooh!(and one fascinating one who I don't even know)
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