It's okay.

Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you ‘You need to stop thinking so much,’ call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity. Your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will shrivel.

I get that there's a time for everything, but it's so rare to hear encouragement to think more, think harder. Diving into the depths of life and all that it is, or isn't, is an adventure that I can't understand anyone not wanting to take. No, that's a lie. I GET it. It's hard frickin' work, it's a little scary at times, it's a little lonely at times, and perhaps crippled with a touch of running circles around issues with no answers. But honestly, do you think that remaining in a bubble of what you've always known just because it's comfortable and safe is good excuse for remaining there? Too many people are stuck in their bubbles. I feel like walking down the street popping them one by one. Let life happen to you.

Sometimes I feel a little guilty. Right now I am still experimenting with who I am, what I like, what I want and what I think. It takes a lot of thought to go through everything and I feel a little selfish in having particular needs: ie, a strong desire to not be around most people. Maybe I am still protecting myself from the pain of wounds that are still open, but it's a good excuse for me to hide from the world and explore everything. Free from pressure to please anyone or worry about their opinion of me. (I know, my Achilles' heel. Buh!)

I don't dislike anyone - I'm just in observation mode. Participating, but with observation and education being the driving forces behind this. One of the things I have learned to enjoy the most is stretching the boundaries of what I think I am capable of doing. Dumb things even. Acting! I have never taken a drama class in my life and have never thought I could be an actor of any kind (too shy/worried about people's judgements), but as part of my resolution to take steps to not be held back by irrational fears... to not LIMIT myself due to irrational fears... I'm in an acting class. Woop! It's still early days and I am yet to actually do a monologue or memorize lines, buuuuut that will come shortly. Anyway. Something silly, yet quite effective for this endeavor of mine.

If I could impose one rule on myself it would be this: Don’t take anything too seriously.


Oooh thunder.