It's been hard finding my bearings or gaining real traction. I feel like, so here I am, out here. I go about my day to do the things that I must do to get... somewhere. I don't know where that is. I don't know and it's freaking me out that I don't know. It's not even self discipline I am worried about, I just don't know what I care about and I know I am not going put my heart and soul into doing something if I don't care about it. I want to do something I believe in otherwise I really won't give enough of a shit to go for it. There's no way I am going to become someone who is just satisfied working some stupid job for some stupid company that sells... paper clips or a "post-it" sales rep. Maybe having paper clips and post-it's is convenient in someone's life, but hell if I care! Ok I know I am being a bit extreme, but the thought of living a STUPID routine for the rest of my life - no matter what it is - is enough to make my head spin. This isn't about money either. Looking for a job that pays me a 6 figure salary. I was thinking today actually - so I go to work all week to make money to live and do things to keep me entertained. I am not a big spender and easily live without feeling the need to constantly buy and collect crap. Materially, there just isn't a lot that I REALLY can't live without - it just doesn't interest me. Now and then I see things I like and If I need something I may buy it, but once I have a good little collection of the necessities I'm good. So what's the big deal with having money anyway? I want to go places and experience things, perhaps that's all I really need it for, but what about my LIFE?
Man, I'm like a silly disillusioned little teenager.
Ok nevermind, maybe I just figured it out! I am single with nobody I love relying on me to support them. Maybe the day I have kids [HA!] of my own I would just need to buckle down and do it? Meh! :( I feel like I am supposed to be more dynamic than that.
I am gonna go soak myself in the tub and hope for an epiphany.
PS. I haven't forgotten the pics.
PPS. I like this template!!!
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