I'm having one of those days where I just want to hide away in my tiny room, read and listen to the music I want to hear. Some days, those are all I want and all I need. I've had several friends text and call today, asking me to come out to events going on in the city tonight, but I talked my way out of each one. How nice to have a choice! I remember the days when I was just a fresh face in Seattle. The loneliest days of my life; surrounded by people, yet a stranger in everyone's midst. Although honestly, I don't think too much has changed. I'm still alone a lot, but I do have a small handful of good people that I've met who keep me entertained and I think I have gotten used to being in this place.
Finally.
Rather than feeling like I've been thrown into a pot of boiling water and expected to learn how to swim and survive there, the water has cooled to a mostly-pleasant lukewarm. Culture-shock has mellowed into cultural-tolerance. I've disappeared into the background by learning how to be, or at least appear superficially like everyone else. A tepid world is so passionless and blasé, but somehow insulated from the intensity of life.
The extremes, whether they be dullness or madness, are successful in preventing too much feeling. So, for the moment, I am this new person. For the moment, I catch my breath and keep learning to master swimming in this watery madness.
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