Whoa! So, lucky me. Rather than a triumphant re-entry from my 2 and a half month hiatus, like I planned. The gods decided it would be far more fitting if I stumbled back into the city, tripped over my feet and cast a small shadow in my direction that's brought a shroud of grey with it. Oh the lovely hues of grey that I have become well acquainted with these past 2 years. But you know? I think I am at a point where I can handle melancholy with some measure of dignity and less agonizing. Commence skin thickening process!
And yet, it feels good to be back! Today was my first day of class, for which I promptly rose from peaceful slumber at the dreadful 5:30am hour, the hour where sound and life do not exist. Not TERRIBLE considering I am still wrestling with my jetlag, but slightly terrible that I didn't have anywhere to be for 4 more hours. No matter. I had tingles of excitement shooting down my spin even as I pulled into bumper to bumper morning rush hour traffic. The air was crisp, the sun was shining, KEXP played on the radio, and excited for my classes I had one of those tremendous moments of peace in my soul. Shrouds of grey, what? I think peace and turmoil can coexist peacefully. There's no rule that says a sucky situation has to turn into a crisis, but I think you only learn this once you have gone through a few sucky situations and found out (much to your surprise) that you actually survived. Remarkable to understand how this is possible, now. Anyone who would quote "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." a year ago, would have received multiple pies in the face from me.
You got to make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby
I'm really quite lucky, I realize this. I have the freedom to take off for months on end, to return to a city because I want to, my commitments (or lack thereof) affect no one but me, I can return from taking off for months on end to a clean slate and a chance to do better. I'm not stuck. I really could do whatever I want, right now. That's exactly what I am going to do, starting with a giant breakfast of champions... :)
2 comments:
You know what they say about fortune and the brave, well you are very fortunate even if you don't always feel brave. La vida es bella aunque sea una lucha de gigantes.
The Gunners are in town in Dec. Was thinking of going to see them. That truly is a classic song.
The Gunners? Strange aussie slang? haha. Go see the show!! I'm always an advocate of live shows, even if they aren't the original band of the 90's anymore, should still be a great time.
Well, as the saying is that fortune and love favour the brave. I guess I am missing a vital component to complete this statement. Working on the bravery. I feel braver! I've done enough things on my own that most people (most girls) would be terrified to do - I can do this!
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