Being physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, pathetically connected to another human being. Harder than facing the world, is doing so when my reasons are forced to come from within, alone.
To feel charged and energized after perfectly syncing to another human soul... loneliness, you're teaching me to survive without my lifeblood. I wonder if this is healthy or just pushing me further into my own personal void.
I'm trying to force myself not to close up too much, but things keep happening that make me wonder how much more I can handle. The world can be so cruel, so unnecessarily cruel. There's so much to understand and yet so few answers to all my questions. I'm caught in a vicious cycle of wanting to know, of asking the unanswerable, of sinking into hopelessness when I can't find what I'm looking for. None of this mattered before, why does it matter now? Why do I feel like I'm just not exactly cut out for this world sometimes? Everything is so intense and I don't feel strong enough to bear the weight of my emotions. Aghhhh why why whyyyy. I can't stop asking why. :(
Lately, I just want to hide away from it all. And listen to this song.
2 comments:
But you do. and that's all that matters. I understand allot of the things you express in your posts. I can't say mine are the same, but they are pretty damn close.
But the fact that do keep going is all that matters for now.
The rest will come girl.
-X
Someone who relates? I like that. :) Thanks for your vote of confidence... Mr/Ms Anonymous.
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