Ahh Love

A Way Back In

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away...
just in case I ever need them again someday

What a Brilliant Bloodline I Have

My little sister's supporting evidence to her claim, in our "great" "debate", that less meat = more cookies. I ::heart:: her :)

Sometimes

I wish I wasn't always shrouded in some form of sadness or nagging depression like I have been the last... while. But then, I wonder, would I have had the chance to explore how deep the darkness in my soul can go? I have had the experience of being full of light, of being completely in sync with the universe in blissful happiness. Is it perhaps my time to learn how to live without light? I remember feeling so scared and helpless - hiding in the closet at 4am, afraid of sleep, afraid of being awake. Panic overwhelming me and my sanity being held on only by a thread. I've never experienced such darkness and silence in the universe.

Silence.

A labyrinth of darkness in the silent void of the universe. I am truly alone on this journey - we all are, but I am not longer fearful of this. More than anything I am grateful for these experiences I have gone through as they have collectively stripped my world down to the bare bones. What is important is evident and clear, all the bullshit I was once so worried about has become obsolete and I am at peace ...yet surprisingly not how I would expect peace to feel...

I'm alright, really. Maybe just missing the hugs.

Sweet Tears

The soul would have no rainbow had no tears filled your eyes.
Falling raindrops colour the skies.
The diamonds of a broken heart are tears crystallized.
The sunlight sparkles in those teary eyes.

I Miss

The people I love...

...but I'm afraid we've drifted too far apart.

Where did you end?

Madness

I feel like i should be a depressed hermit holed up for winter, writing woeful poetry about the long, cold winter that is life. But the sun is shining, it's almost 60 degrees out and I can't help but feel awkwardly happy. Nature, why dost thou confuse me so?

Expression

By Scott Garner: http://www.etsy.com/shop/jungalero

...but for little moments in time, it's not all so heavy. I hope you are smiling... wherever you are.

I Know Everything About You

For all my life I've tried to hide
The animal in me
Now it's time to open up
and breathe, and breathe

Setting sail

Letting go of the old, embracing the new. Happy month of Pisces.

Free Thursdays in Seattle

From my outing pleasures.

If you like free and you like museums here's a list of all the museums I know of that offer free admission on the first Thursday of each month, along with their 'free' hours that day.

Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture * 10:00 am - 8:00 pm * http://www.washington.edu/burkemuseum

Experience Music Project * 5:00 pm - 8:00 pm * http://www.empsfm.org

Henry Art Gallery * 11:00 am - 8:00 pm * http://www.henryart.org

Museum of Flight * 10:00 am - 9:00 pm * http://www.museumofflight.org

Museum of History and Industry * 10:00 am - 8:00 pm * http://www.seattlehistory.org

Northwest African American Museum * 11:00 am - 7:00 pm * http://www.naamnw.org

Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame * 5:00 pm - 8:00 pm * http://www.empsfm.org

Seattle Art Museum * 10:00 am - 9:00 pm * http://www.seattleartmuseum.org

Seattle Asian Art Museum * 10:00 am - 9:00 pm * http://www.seattleartmuseum.org

Wing Luke * 10:00 am - 8:00 pm * Website Link

Tacoma Art Museum * offers extended hours and free admission every third Thursday of the month. * Website Link

Also the Museum of Glass in Tacoma also has free admission on the 3rd Thursday of each month from *5:00 pm - 8:00 pm* http://www.museumofglass.org

And the Bellevue Arts Museum is free the first Friday of each month from *10:00 am - 9:00 pm* http://www.bellevuearts.org

Yuck Feah!

What is it like?

Just leaves blowing in the wind now. How can love turn into dust? It should be the thing we fight for more than life itself, but we let it go. We allow it to fade. We let it become extinct. Some days I feel like a part of me has died and has been buried. I can no longer look at my life the way I used to. I know I'll survive this, but - at night especially - there's a cloud weighing on me and it's heavy.

I want to learn to love the journey alone. I want to learn to forget you. I love you... help me say goodbye...

The inevitability

It doesn't scare me like is used to. Death. But thinking how you're gone now, how you've vanished from existence... crazy. I can only come to a place just outside of what you must have felt - I can only peer into your heart and feel the pain you must have felt, from the outside. From the outside looking in, I can all but feel it too. I'm so sorry you suffered! I would try to remove all the pain from the earth if I could, but I am learning now that doing so would be an injustice to many. I am learning to be strong in the face of difficulty, to persevere when the desire to do so is only flickering ember, to take one painful step after painful step. It gets easier. It really does. I never thought I would feel this way.

Maybe not to you? Would saving you have saved your life? Would you have lived your life as a dead soul walking the earth, void of life save a beating heart? Would that have been a worse kind of hell? I like to think that life itself is the greatest gift, but perhaps to some it is death that is cherished. I wouldn't judge you, you chose what you chose. I just wish I could have eased your pain, somehow.

Ahh the feeling of powerlessness is hard to live with. The struggles in life seem to be constant at times. The only thing I can do is ensure that I become stronger and stronger so that I can make it on my own if need be. Your deaths compel me to live, and to live well.

"It always gets rough. It always gets better. Don’t ever delete yourself."

Sweet Sleep

It's Too Late

You can't help it. Happy Birthday. xx