Where is the light at the end of the tunnel? I've been walking for miles and the only light I find comes from cracks in the walls. I run towards it thinking it's finally here, but the source of light is just... a tiny crack.
In a time warp. I can't see ahead. I try so hard to keep my eyes on the present moment, to stop fearing what does (or doesn't lie ahead), but sometimes I become so consumed. So overwhelmed with emotion so heavy all I can do is cry and cry and cry. Trapped in despair, living moments of peacefulness. Up, smashed down, weakly rising to stand yet again. The weight is so heavy I can barely carry it.
Weak and rejected. Worn out and crestfallen. There is nothing to do but to feel this, feel this struggle with every fiber of my being. You won't win and you can't defeat me. Even if all I do is run for cracks in the wall, I will run. What else can I do? I can't give up, because I don't know my enemy's face. To whom will I surrender? The raging thoughts in my head that push me down, down, down to the depths of despair? A coward with no face.
I am. I am! So hopeless, but I still have... this. What? I have nothing. But something is still there. What is it? It is just what it is; it is life, it is breath. I can feel it... this pounding against my heart ...THIS is me. Undefined and unexplainable. It is life and life will live on. It has no choice.
Softly she whispers, "keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going" "as the road divides you must walk, you must walk, you must walk, you must..
...let go"
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