Happy Birthday!

This was the best, funniest picture I could find of you. =) You are amazing and wonderful!! I know I say that a lot (I hope I say that a lot), but man it's true! We've come so far down the same road - on different paths, yet always mentally synced. Somehow we just *get* each other. Lovely people have come and gone from my life, but you are a constant.

Thank you for being born.

(the Florecita to my Rokera)

Somewhere from the edge of time /
When the poets die & words don't rhyme /
I will call you up and say /
Somehow we made it out okay.

It all Comes Full Circle. Huh.

A soon coming end to the winter of wonderland, for in more ways than one has Narnia been my abode.


A haze at first, I now see that with time the colors of the sky are once again bleeding into each other - somewhere in the stillness I sense the inaudible voice of light whisper:


Yet a little while.


No longer broken, for the fragments that once were have been smashed to smithereens - no longer splinters of the frame that held my illusions, for they too have risen in flames - the fire of acceptance.


And all these which I feared to be remnants and shadows forever to haunt have instead returned from whence they came and do now exist as invisible entities whose pulsating presence breathe life to this ever changing heart.


Though once I waited, there is no longer reason to prolong or delay, for all this is indeed nothing more than the beginning of that which is to be.


That which is now, that which has been, and that which I will choose.


Can love and time coexist or are they destined to be forever at odds?


Is love not subject to time or is time which is indifferent to love?


No matter.


I say one cannot have one without the other, more so, that the acceptance of the limitations which time does represent in this mortal realm and the realization that these be but for a season, is once again nothing more than the first step to beginning a journey of discovery.


Love in this life.


To seek out or let myself be found by that which is destined to live on forever, is a journey I intend not to miss.


Elude? what for?


I shall enjoy every step of the way.


(via beuribek.blogspot.com)

And After All...

I might still believe in love. How can I not? What else is there that is real? That is tangible? That makes the most sense, even when it doesn't? Actually, it rarely makes sense. It can break you down, take you to the darkest and scariest places you've ever experienced, it can potentially kill you. Yet somehow it's the most beautiful perplexity one could hope to experience. It's the one thing we crave sometimes more than our own breath. What strange creatures we are.

Love, wherever you are hiding right now. I'll find you... one day.

Your Thoughts on God

"I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God was simply that part of yourself that was always there and always strong, even when you were not."
— Augusten Burroughs

Congratulations

You've officially failed.

Well done!

:(

Meaning-Less-Ness

It's perfect!

She's my intergalactic soul-mate. You make the world a better place for me, thank you. :)

Dark Nights

They never last forever, but the darkness is so thick and heavy when you're in it. They talk about there being a light at the end of the tunnel, but when you're in that tunnel the words are just that... words. Yet somehow, somehow we have the strength. Inside deep and hidden away. To keep going even when the darkness has almost choked out our existence.

I just feel like the darkness has subsided a little. I feel a little more hopeful. Ugh hopelessness. :( It's awful, awful, awful! Afraid to live, terrified to die. Literally stuck. Breathing, doing, being but not living, merely existing. A waste of a human. I never want to consider myself a waste of oxygen, like I felt with all my heart that I was. God, it was so terrible. I was so scared of everything and everyone. It makes me sad to think back to the very darkest moments and sadder yet to think others are passing through the midnight of their lives right now. It's so hard, so lonely - but it passes. Little by little and day by day. It's still dark, but I can feel some light - I'm sure of it.

You were really two thirds of the problem, but now that you're gone I hope you don't mind I'm going to blame the darkest night of my life on you. It's easier that way for both of us. You don't need me missing you and I don't need me missing you, I'm glad I was so easy for you to let go of. Heartbreak is not something I would wish upon anyone.

I may always wonder... why did you let me go? When one loves so deeply it's hard to fathom how such a feeling can be completely erased from existence. Yet there it goes. It's gone and I know it's gone forever.

Wow, crazy. Forever is such a long time.

And in time I will fade away
In time I won't care what you say
In time, but time takes time you know

I've broken a heart and had mine broken in return - I think it's time to be gentle with myself and everyone around me.